It’s sort of interesting to see where my mind was when I started this blog (preserved down there). What amazes me in hindsight of a year and a half without mom is how the death of someone so dear grows you, breaks you, and then grows you again. The process, I’m learning, is simply the process of growing up. How am I in my thirties and still realizing what it means to grow up?!
The detials of my life are mundane and yet, I find my role thrilling. Wife, mama, daughter, sister and friend. All of these things can be facts about you. But they are also my calling. God has called each of us “for such a time as this”. My husband and my son and everyone He has graciously put in my life is an opportunity for me to grow, be shaped, and glorify my God. Thankfully, even in my failures which are unending, He is always willing to meet me and help me through.
So. There you have me in all my boring glory — still making mudpies. 🙂
I’m a wife. A mom. A daughter. Right now, while I raise my son and live life with my husband, I am dealing with the recent loss of my mother to metastatic breast cancer. I do not despair, there is never reason for that. But there has been reason for sadness, and why, and tears. So I got a garden. And that is where I’ll dig and grow and pray and maybe cry a little. Hopefully I’ll end up with a delightfully muddy kid, a beautiful garden, and some great time with my family in the meantime.
A few people have asked about the name, “Merlot Mudpies”. So here it is, as silly as it may sound — in least to greatest importance:
1. I love wine.
2. Gardening, I play in the mud a whole lot.
3. God’s grace is the defining factor in my life. When I look at myself apart from the grace of God, this quote from C. S. Lewis and “The Weight of Glory” comes to mind: “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” Apart from Him, I am that person described. I don’t mind making fun of myself in my title because it reminds me of my absolute and critical need for Jesus.